JULIE
AKA: Queeny, Julie Ham and cheese, reject

Measurements: 36x24x36 (number of magic cards she owns)

Catchphrase: "Die, die die! ", "Step away from the cheese

Sexual Fantasy: A knife, a dark room, the right VO... and Bryan's schlong

Description: Julie has the nicest pair of.. pajamas, I have ever seen. Despite a twisted sense of humour and sadistic tendencies, Julie is more fun than silly putty. She wastes most of her time playing magic, but it's just a phase, she'll grow out of it (we hope!).

Pet Peeves: All this rhyming shit.

Aspirations: To beat Gord at Magic, when he's really trying his best.

If I could have changed the show: I would sing.

Typecast: little kid, maniacal psychopath.

Most Likely To: Serve time for murder.

ALYSON

AKA: Big Booty Betty ('nuff said)

Measurements: Really big... hair

Catchphrases: Jon, you're such an asshole, I can't believe I (pick one): a) Swallowed. b) Took it up the ass.

Sexual Fantasy: Alyson has probably had lots of these but she's probably also acted most of them out (with the exception of the one with be grenade launcher and the cheese).

Description: Hoo boy ! Where to start!!! Well, first of all, she's cute as hell, and you should see her when she does the splits. On to of that she has the biggest cowboy boots we've ever seen. Here's one person that can do it all, dance, sing, act, choreograph, and satisfy a zucchini like no one else.

Pet Peeves: Whimpy zucchinis.

Aspirations: To be less famous.

If I could have changed the show: I wouldn't have let Dan censor me.

Typecast: Sexpot.

Most Likely To: Actually make money in show business.

CHRIS L The one at the very back
AKA: Smithers, the Dancing Fiend, Preacher Man, (reject NOT), Bones.

Measurements: We're not sure, but one's shorter than the other.

Catchprases: "Dammit Jim," "Say Amen, brothers and sisters," "I can't do push-ups."

Sexual Fantasy: Being on top.

Description: Chris is a big ball of talent just waiting to burst out. He kept his dancing ability hidden for just long enough to impress the hell out of us. Often seen comparing freaky body positions with Nicole and Alyson. Chris is such an incredibly nice guy it's sickening. There must be some character flaws in there somewhere.

Pet Peeves: Push-ups. EM problem sets.

Aspirations: Lead dancer, National Ballet of Canada, or a TV evangelist.

If I could have changed the show: I would have choreographed.

Typecast: The bastard, he wasn't even typecast!

Most Likely To: Pass Eng Sci